As a Monty Python once said of Camelot, Deadline Day is a very silly place.
If the glare off Jim White’s yellow tie doesn’t blind you, the constant talk of multi-million deals will eventually make your ears bleed.
The Premier League spent over £1billion on players during the summer transfer window and over £100million on Deadline Day alone, as no less than 66 players left, joined or moved between clubs in the English top flight. In the process, 13 Premier League sides set new club-record transfer fees.
Supply and demand capitalism at it’s dirtiest, the £5billion television deal further inflated price-tags during the summer yet still left the Premier League with plenty in reserve to ensure one of the silliest Deadline Days we’ve seen for years.
All that was missing was a sex toy in a Sky Sports presenter’s ear and Harry Redknapp hanging out of a car window. But rather than bizarre moments of human interaction, it was the flex of economic strength – or rather, an unnecessary showing of fiscal bravado – that made summer Deadline Day 2016 arguably the most ridiculous yet.
And perhaps inevitably, the Premier League reached it’s climax of silliness at around 8pm yesterday evening as not one but two top flight clubs, Everton and Tottenham Hotspur, wrestled over the signature of Newcastle United’s Moussa Sissoko.
It’s abundantly clear neither side were wholeheartedly keen on signing the France international, or else his move wouldn’t have come literally moments before the 11pm deadline, but nonetheless, both were prepared to pay a staggering £30million – albeit broken into £6million instalments.
Spurs eventually came out on top as it became increasingly obvious Everton were used as a pawn in a Deadline Day caper equally befitting of a Coen Brothers film. But Toffees fans should be delighted their club missed out on the former Newcastle man. Here’s why.
Sissoko is an enigma in more ways than one. At first glance, he’s built like a box-to-box midfielder capable of asserting physical dominance and energy in the engine room. Perhaps that can be extended to the ‘Yaya Toure’ role just in front, where his power and pace can be given more licence to roam and penetrate on the counter-attack.
Yet, the 26-year-old has spent the vast majority of his Newcastle career on the wing and it’s incredibly telling four different Newcastle managers – Alan Pardew, John Carver, Steve McClaren and Rafa Benitez – all came to the same conclusion that the Frenchman was far less effective on the inside. There are good reasons for that.
First and foremost, Sissoko doesn’t have the brain of a centre-mid; whilst he offers plenty of up-and-down, he doesn’t spread the ball, he doesn’t see the bigger picture and he doesn’t possess the intelligence to control games from that position. Although dynamism is obviously an asset in the Premier League, Sissoko’s is based more on instinct than calculation – that can be incredibly dangerous when you’re part of a two in front of a back four.
Secondly and perhaps more important is Sissoko’s flickering attitude, which changes quicker than British weather. And whilst a team may occasionally get away with a winger throwing a strop, as Sissoko often does, a lack of commitment from men in the middle will more often than not ensure defeat. It’s almost a case of damage limitation – sticking the 44-cap international out wide in case one of his moods strikes.
Of course, Sissoko has proved somewhat effective on the wing – last season he grabbed seven assists in a Newcastle side with no dependable goalscorer that eventually plummeted out of the top flight. But the conundrum remains; Sissoko either looks like a centre-mid playing out wide or an attacking player shoe-horned into a more disciplined midfield role. He’s a never-ending square peg in a bottomless round hole, so which position have Spurs just spent £30million to strengthen? I’m not convinced Daniel Levy truly knows.
Likewise, any accusation of moping about last season, refusing to pull his weight as one of the few standout talents in Newcastle’s starting XI, was seemingly vindicated by Sissoko’s committed performance in the Euro 2016 final. He was arguably the Man of the Match for Les Tricolores and unfortunate to end up on the losing side. Nobody on the pitch put in more effort than him, both defensively and on the break.
But are Spurs buying a Sissoko filled with national pride, or a Sissoko who has protruded a distinct lack of loyalty throughout his Newcastle career? It’s almost a case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The former may well be worth £30million but the latter certainly isn’t and for a team like Tottenham Hotspur, whose ability to overachieve stems from the vibrant team spirit at White Hart Lane, Sissoko could quickly prove to be an incredibly debasing influence.
Don’t get me wrong, Sissoko will surely start his Spurs career all guns blazing, covering a phenomenal amount of kilometres and seemingly responsive to Mauricio Pochettino’s every instruction. But what happens when he’s dropped to the bench for a few weeks? Will the same Sissoko emerge upon his return, or the enigmatic, disinterested manifestation who aimlessly wanders around the pitch wondering why Real Madrid haven’t signed him yet?
Everton fans may be disappointed by a low-key inaugural transfer window from Ronald Koeman and an incredibly disappointing Deadline Day; the Toffees went from trying to sign FC Porto’s Yacine Brahimi to settling for West Ham’s Enner Valencia on loan in the space of 24 hours; but Tottenham have undoubtedly done the club a favour.
Spending £30million on a player whose best position remains undetermined, who was clearly someway down their list of summer transfer targets, whose attitude has been constantly questioned throughout his Premier League career and whose performances continually vary between awesome and anonymous only makes sense in the context of the closing hours of arguably the silliest Deadline Day we’ve ever seen.
Everton are better off holding onto their money.
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